Here's the serious one:
Listen to the mustn'ts, child.
Listen to the don'ts.
Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...
Anything can happen, child.
Anything can be.
The funny one that my secretary said on the announcements today. She couldn't remember if it was original, or she heard it from Jack Handy.
If I had a dollar for every dollar I spent, I'd have all my money back!