I had to run an errand during my lunch break. Not because I didn't have a stamp this time, which I found last time, by the way.
It is warm!! That thing called the sun is out and I can feel it's warmth. I cannot explain how thrilled I am. I cranked up the music and rolled the windows down. I would've had the sunroof open if it opened (which it was supposed to...instead it's just glass. I guess that's better than nothing. The volume control was supposed to be on the steering wheel, too. But I'm not bitter)....I thought about not coming back to work but instead going to change clothes and go for a walk, but I didn't.
I am missing my daughter lately. That's not glorious. But I'll get over it. Did you think when you were little the things you might do when you became a parent? I did. Life is much different in reality, huh? And suddenly, they're gone.
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The other day, I was playing outside with my kids. Mostly taking photos and watching them. Soaking them in the way they were soaking in the nicer weather. I watched my oldest lie (lay?) on the ground, spread out her limbs, and revel in all that is the sky. The wind blew the leaves all around her, swirling about, and I could hear her laughing across the yard. Yesterday, I was out again, this time just with the young boy. He was off and exploring, picking up single blades of grass and ripping leaves to bits, so I took the opportunity to lie on the ground, just like my oldest daughter did only 2 days prior. It was something I used to do when i was young and out exploring on my own. I layed where she lay. It was a beautiful view, and the ground felt so solid beneath me. What's the point of all this? She reminded me to slow down; notice; watch the clouds; soak it all up. I'm going to turn around, and they'll be off on their own and it will feel like I've blinked.
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